Bondage Broken

Dear Friends,

How long are grudges supposed to last for anyway?

Is it till we are tired of the extra pain in our hearts, whenever the person walks into the room, or is it till we are desperate to sleep well and finally get that unnecessary discomfort out of our own heads, whenever that one person crosses our minds?

Or seriously, are we waiting to realize what we already know, that we are defying the number 1 commandment? That we are hurting God? That we have no right?

Either way this casual form of hatred is fueled by darkness, inspired by an eternity of madness, that slowly waits to kill us across seconds…..

So how long is it necessary to prove a point , that “YES!  I will continue to live like my sister does not exist, like she wasn’t made from the image of God,  like my total disgust towards her is an approved form of worship to the devil, the prince of hate, destruction and grudges.”  There is a difference between wisdom and living in death.

How long do I have to lie to myself that I am not at peace with myself, because I have an invisible black book  of enemies knitted in my soul, and it keeps growing and growing until my undefined end, when I stand before the throne of God on judgement day, and give Him a 1000 reasons why I just could not repent:

BECAUSE I WANTED TO BE RIGHT!!!

But hell isn’t made for those who have always been wrong, or those who truly love God, because if we are true holders of the cross, we would know how to treat our brother or sister first,

as Christ came when He gave up His all for us; His money, His Home, His freedom, His privacy, His family, His dignity, His marriage,His food, His clothes, His life, His blood, His sweat, Himself.

So, how much is a grudge really worth?…………………………………….        ……..

The next time I see those who betray, gossip, lie and persecute me, I will smile and say hi first. And I will mean all of it, as Christ died shamelessly on the cross for me and the one I labeled as “enemy”.

Forgiveness is bondage broken.

Psalm 49:13-15     Leviticus 19:17-18    Matthew 25:35    Colossians 3:13   Ephesians 4:31-32

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The Bride is hooked on the King ;)

I didn’t let my attraction to women define me.

I didn’t think i was gay.

I refuse to let them make me

believe I was born “that way”.

 

I was born, covered in blood

but now I glitter in scars.

 

The One who loves me

has not chosen bitter

if He has overturned the past.

 

I’m worthy to be loved.

I’m painted by grace and days

of waiting.

 

I’m waiting on God,

until then I choose to admire the world

and enhance the beauty inside me.

 

I look from God’s eyes and see

My beauty in yours.

I see your glitter,

even if you are a boy or girl.

I’ve hurt before

but through all the blues, broken charms and green eyes,

their arms were soft; their souls were warm and pretty.

Still I never let my attraction to women define me

…or the long thread of broken promises.

 

 

Proverbs 31

There will always be someone else

stronger than me,

 

but does she or he become my boo

or my god?