Found and Free!

Dear Jesus,

through my shallow tears and cries to the other side

where I attempt to take back what I have lost, I am reminded of You Lord,

and how you feel when we stray away… I just want my dogs…. but no matter how much I call out, only You can hear me. I’ve allowed what I could buy to capture my heart. I’m hurting now because I was always captive to what I thought was stolen from me. Security. I’m lost waiting for the world to explain to me that it is my right to feel entitled. To feel my pain. What you chose to give you choose when to take away. The dog that brought me joy, The money that brought the dogs. The father who gave me the money. The God I chose to ignore.

Help me to break away, so they can never hurt me. I’ve heard the whispers from the dark. They could be sold. They could be lunch, They could be dead. I’ve listened to everyone, but I never heard what you said. I’m looking for solutions, and I don’t even live there. I put so much value in them. But they left…. like me, the enemy has waited tirelessly for the day I wonder out into the dark, so I can be lost again… I’ve been a dog…but I’m already bought by the blood that many atheists and unbelievers have tried for centuries to disproof of existence.

My pain exists. And it’s heard to sleep when your babies are missing. But You put me back together, and You waited for me in my sleep.

Even though some seasons bruise me, I will trust in You. Even when the house is decorated with dogs, You watch over the master. I will keep asking you in faith, and my love for You won’t wither. I know if I was lost you would leave the 99 sheep to find that one stubborn one. I know You will give me peace, I know I will overcome. I know nothing happens under Your watch without a reason. Sometimes there’s pain, through it, there’s growth. In the end, and even now, may You always be glorified… and now that I know your pain, I pray that the lost children You cry for, will also come home. ¬†And even if Christian and Oreo don’t come home, may Your will be done, and may I be found dwelling deeper, lifting praise at Your heavenly gates. Because I’m found, and I will search till I find my joy and peace in You alone. My heart is no more a slave to things that can die or be stolen. I’m free from this burdensome world. You found me.

 

” To the ones that want to stay lost. Stop searching. He will still love you when you come home. His doors are open wide… Just come home to where true love is.”

Psalm 51.

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