Even in the ancient days, when Abraham sent out his servant to find a suitable wife for his son Isaac, there were certain standards of beauty that needed to be fulfilled, even in a desert. On my case study, God is a Matchmaker, Derek Prince reveals how God has a plan for us, and the people we are meant to spend the rest of our lives with.
Before any of us embarks on the unending journey of marriage, it is important to remember that as Christians, God has created us to be the salt and light of this Earth, and so we should act as such; by bringing flavor and spreading the light of the Holy Spirit amongst those living in darkness. Consequently, we are commanded not to be yoked together with unbelievers, (2 Cor. 6:14-15). Today we live in a society where everyone is too thirsty trying to quench their worldly wants and desires: sex, drugs, money, family, pets and cars. It’s all a roaring demand of wishes that keeps overwhelming us until we finally realize that, all our wants and needs are insatiable, but yet, the truth of our main purpose in life remains hidden and clouded in our thirst to be “happy”.
So often we search for new forms of excitement and fruitless trends, we lose sight of the fact that we’ve always had enough, and that is God.
The woman at the well was married 4 times but was still lonely and incomplete, because in life we need God to make us whole. No one is seriously praying for a young man or woman with too many stress wrinkles, stretch marks and barely any hair.
No! Everyone wants the best for themselves, just like when God preserves the better for His children: those who love and serve Him. Same way, God is not going to present you to any potential life partner when you still haven’t cleaned up your act, the cobwebs and your weaknesses. So let’s thank God when He spares you from receiving the same headache also. There are several chapters in life that a man and a woman have to experience before actually being strongly prepared for marriage.
Yes girls. It takes more than a face full of paint and a pretty dress to prepare anyone’s mind and soul for the blessing of bonding that is about to take place.
A drunkard and his naive mistress, a workaholic and his teenage wife, a priest and his sister. Only God can predict what effect any of these combinations could have. And yet these scenarios all exist. Imagine if any of these three parties came together in an effort to co-exist; a marriage. If It is said that children are the fruits of marriage, imagine how sinfully rooted the offspring of these marriages will be. Marriages or even conception that is built on any sinfully shaky foundation, usually leads to homes of neglect, rape, abuse or even madness. If only this fallen world had a more clear-cut distinction between marriage and holy matrimony. It seems like everyone is finding some form of convenience by getting married these days.
Everyone, regardless of who we are, desires to have a deep intimate connection with something or someone. At the end of the day, we all want to belong, and find a stable place in this puzzle we call life. Either it is the girl in the choir who sings and jumps around joyfully, and as a result is able to shed off weights of boredom and burden, or the sassy stripper who chooses to exploit her beauty and sexuality while men gag lustfully over her flexibility. Keep in mind that both of these women are in extraordinarily great shape, and are probably blessed with good genes and assets. So who do you think God smiles on the most? Which of these women are bearing enough fruit to prepare themselves toward completion for holy matrimony?
Most great blessings usually manifest from small responsibilities. Remember when Isaac blessed Jacob greatly for serving him a pot of soup? Similarly, God is also watching our little acts of service to Him. This is how we inherit great gifts and blessings from Him. God needs to know that you can be faithful and able to keep His Kingdom in shape, so He can also bless you with a dwelling place of your own.
In Derek Prince’s words, “ I found myself surrounded by barrenness, both natural and spiritual. My one unfailing source of strength was my Bible, which I read through several times. But in spite of the barrenness all around, I felt that God was beginning to work out His plan in my life… (p.27)” I agree with Dr. Pierce, sometimes a place of isolation and trials like the desert can bring you closer to God in a way that will baffle any human mind. It is more rewarding to invest in the heavens when going through the pains of a long and dry waiting period. Like most great men of God, our breakthroughs in life usually manifest after we conquer the desert period. These are the actions that lead to a successful marriage.
Pray, understand what a godly marriage is, and reflect on yourselves in the spirit before embarking on this journey. Even before Derek Prince intended to marry his second wife Ruth, he had to confide in his friends, a small community of preachers, before he was able to determine if God was approving of his relationship with Ruth. After the death of Lydia, Derek’s first wife, the revelation of who Derek’s second life partner was very profound and prophetic. Even as prophet, after Derek had seen his potential wife in his dreams and then in person, he still had to seek some form of godly council from other servants of God before he could finally decide if this marriage was in line with what God had destined for his life.
Finally Derek Prince reminds us to be “rest assured, then: Obedience to God’s word will keep you in the path that leads to the marriage He has planned for you (p.77)”. In order to be prepared for marriage, one must have dedicated his or her life to serving and loving God. Even though God had already prophetically revealed the identity of his new wife to Derek Prince, he still knew that there was some work to be done before establishing any actions towards his prophecy. It is through these steps that we will randomly yet divinely bump into our future spouses. Derek Prince provided a few steps to describe the journey that leads to holy matrimony. And it all starts with:
- Obeying God’s word – As long as we practice obedience to God’s word in every situation, we will never stray from the path He has appointed for us. “Your light is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.” (Psalm 119.:105)
- Walking in fellowship – Obedience to God naturally brings Christians together and enables them to relate to one another. If there is something you feel pushed to do in God’s house, it is best to do it earlier than later in order to move in line with your destiny through your blessings. Fellowship with other believers is essential to success and progress in the Christian life. The opposite is also true. “ But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another.” (1John 1:7)
- Being led by the Spirit – “Those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God” (Romans 8:14). Many Christians who are born again in the Holy Spirit, have never learn to be led by Him. Consequently they never grow to true spiritual maturity, or find God’s fullest plan for their lives.
- Guarding your heart – Be continually watchful, first of all, concerning what you allow into your heart. With the knowledge that in our contemporary culture, young people in particular are constantly bombarded by images and influences that undermine the biblical standards of sex and marriage (p.83). “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23).
- Waiting! – “Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for him” (Isaiah 64:4). Be prepared to wait! And psych yourself up to enjoy it. God acts on behalf of those who wait for Him. This is one of those areas in which each of us have experienced or are yet to experience the great matchmaker that God is. If He unites us quickly with our appointed mates, then we praise Him. If He requires us to wait, we should praise him just the same. God deals with each of us according to His knowledge of us, and according to His special plan for each life.
- Seeking Godly counsel – A friend of mine once told me that love and marriage was like building a sky scraper. The deeper and stronger the foundation, the higher the building will go. It is very important for any couple to seek the right form of counseling and blessing from parents or guardians, before getting married. “The way of truth seem right to them, but the wise listen to advice”( Proverbs 12:15). “ A fool spurns a parent’s discipline , but whoever heeds correction shows prudence”(Proverbs 15:5). This is when one should consult the wisdom of God through reading the Bible and by talking to men of God. It is also a mark of wisdom and humility to seek counsel from older people who have achieved success in the areas of life where you need guidance (p.86).
- Seeking God’s favor – “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22). If you want the Lord to give you the kind of mate you need, there is one thing you must do above all things: You must diligently cultivate the Lord’s favor, and seek Him. The Father’s satisfaction must be your highest ambition. Even King Saul stumbled on his anointing to be king by searching out for his father’s donkeys. You might never be able find the right man or woman by going hunting, but when we put our Father’s needs first, everything else, including our pleasures, becomes available to us.
It is obvious, one has to be a Proverbs 31 man or woman before he or her can even meet “the one”. Some of you might disagree, but hear me out. As Prophet Gideon defines, a weed is any plant or photosynthesizing organism that has no clearly found purpose. It still exists, it transforms sunlight and carbon dioxide, it is probably even the cure for many serious world threatening diseases, but because and until some confused scientist in Moscow uncovers this world-changing secret, it will always be stepped on and known as a useless weed; a tiny tree that has been cursed by achieving nothing, and so withers away fruitlessly with no honor or memory.
This is how most Christians appear spiritually and physically in this world until their true God given purpose is revealed to them. Have you discovered your God-given purpose? And if so, do you know that fulfilling that purpose will naturally result in you bearing the spiritual and physical fruit that you need to become whole? Do you know It is only when God has made you whole and complete in the Spirit that one can confidently walk towards a life of marriage without doubt or fear?…
Until then, you’re wasting your time living as a weed that would bear no fruit for any man or woman.
Beloved, you need to start by bearing fruit for God. As Derek Prince says, “We might not be able to see the path that Christianity is taking us, but we can rest assured that in God’s time, it will bring us out to the fulfillment of His plan for our lives. ” As long as we make it a point to seek His divine favor.