If I am ever arrested
for having sex in a parking lot
of a restricted area,
just know that I was
Looking for you
I would lay on my back
wishing the rain
was your moisture instead;
seeping through pores of ecstasy,
as I lick those soft coconuts
free of their warm sweet sweat.
If I am ever distracted
by dangling patterns in the sky,
while my blood boiling hot,
and I, still throbbing from behind.
Just know that I never focused on one thing
before my soul set sharp
on the thought of you.
If I am ever stimulated
by the smoke stealing dreams from my brain,
or teeth squeezing secrets through nipples
in hope for a commitment, or scarring stroke,
just know that I’ve rolled through valleys of pleasure;
my coaster hits its peaks in vain.
My drunken display was thirst in disguise
for a heart that was never full
from years in your eyes.
Just know that I’m still famished
from buffets of the fruitless;
craving to be intoxicated in you.
If I am ever merely fed
and it sounded like enjoyment
just know that it was never enough for me,
that I would beg you to join in.
I would nibble in hunger
for lips I pretend to kiss.
Just savoring what was missing.
I would cry afterwards and rename the moment
“wet dream”. I would moan and wish that the face in my eyelids
wasn’t just thoughts that decorate my head
till the end of my days, if I knew
but never had you,
But Jesus had it all. I should have known
He makes all things new.
Proverbs 16:9 ” A man’s heart plans his way,
But the Lord directs His steps.”